21 Thoughts Every New Mum Has During Her First Postpartum Workout

Whether you’re coming back to exercise after your first pregnancy or your fifth, your first postpartum workouts won’t always go to plan. This is your permission to take things slowly, take the pressure off and celebrate the little wins along the way. You’ve got this - and you’re definitely not alone. 

Psst… don’t forget: it’s important to get the green light from your healthcare provider before you start exercising again after birth. We recommend a gradual, progressive approach to slowly rebuild your strength and fitness and ensure you return to exercise safely. Take a look at Sweat's full lineup of post-pregnancy programs here.

The thoughts EVERY new mum has in her first postpartum workout

1. I have never been so exhausted in my entire life. And I haven’t even started exercising. So that’s a good sign. 

2. Right, where do we start? A warm-up? Are you joking? I’m on a time limit here. Naptime could last anywhere from 40 minutes to… um, zero minutes, I guess. Anyway, I don’t need to stretch. I’ve been carting around a 5-kilo weight all morning. I’ve only just put them down for a nap! I’m pretty sure I can get straight into it. 

3. Well, this has come as a surprise, but it was a bad idea to skip the warm-up. I think I’ve pulled a muscle. Or, to be more accurate, I think I’ve pulled all my muscles. I am actually feeling things in muscles I didn’t realise I still had. I might just… rewind to the warm-up. 

4. Okay, we’re back in business. I knew it was a good idea to start with a nice gentle warm-up.  

5. Sorry, is there a reason that I’m out of breath during the warm-up? I’m pretty sure this isn’t meant to be the hard part. This is the warm-up, right? I’ll just double check. Oh, no, okay, it’s definitely the warm-up. I guess that makes sense since all I’m doing is sitting up straight. But it’s quite… hard to sit up straight now? Didn’t the baby come out of me? Is there a reason it sort of feels like it’s still… in there? He’s not still in there, right? No, I definitely remember the whole birth thing. Ok. Good to know. That was a good distraction for twelve seconds. I almost forgot I was trying to sit up straight!

6. Right, that was hard. But the important thing is, I’ve done it. First postpartum workout, done and dusted. Sure, it nearly killed me, but I can proudly say I worked out for…

 Seven minutes. Huh. Ok. Well. I’ll keep going. I guess.

7. My lord, my boobs are big now. They just bounce around… everywhere. Also, they hurt a lot. Can someone get these guys under control? Who is in charge here? I mean, me, I guess. I probably should have worn a bra. 

8. Oh, good God, we’ve sprung a leak. I had read this might happen but didn’t expect it to, erm, actually happen.

9. MAYDAY! MAYDAY! It did not seem possible, but we have sprung another leak, this time from the left breast. Oh, there goes the right breast again. Okay, we’re just leaking breast milk right through our shirt now. This is, I suppose, another great reason we should have considered wearing a bra. Well, it’s too late now. This is fine! We’re fine! 

10. In a way, it would be kind of convenient if the baby woke up now and gave me an excuse to stop. Because then it would be out of my hands entirely. I’m not willing that to happen, obviously. But I might just… bang around kind of loudly during this next set just to see what happens.

11. So, you woke up last night when the dog sneezed, but the full weight of my human body crashing around on the floor outside your door is fine to sleep through? DID I JUST HEAR YOU YAWN AND SNUGGLE DOWN INTO AN EVEN DEEPER SLEEP? Is this a joke? Am I being Punk’d? Has anyone been Punk’d since 1999? Isn’t it crazy that my baby won’t even know what Punk’d is! Maybe I should stop trying to exercise and wake him up and show him some old episodes. Like, it’s kind of an emergency. I don’t think anyone would hold it against me. 

12. I am breathing so hard. I think I might be dying. This is sort of reminiscent of being in labour, but without the prize at the end. There is no way I haven’t disturbed the neighbours with how hard I am currently breathing. Someone might call the police. And to be honest? Right now, I’d take it.

13. This hurts. Everything hurts. I forgot I had these muscles! I wish I’d never remembered! Why is this so much harder than it used to be? Is this how exercising is going to be FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE???

14. Not to be dramatic, but I might fall asleep on the floor during the next rest break. That’s what a “rest” means, right? That sounds right.

15. I can’t believe how unfit I am. This is honestly embarrassing. 

16. Embarrassing? Are you kidding me? I just grew a whole human inside me! I’m a champion! I’m a warrior! I’m a goddess! I can do anything, and I can certainly do this. 

17. Right, enough mucking around. Let’s really get into it. I’ve shown up! I’m here! I’m not afraid of hard work! It’s time to get down to business! 

18. Aaaaaand, the baby’s awake. Well, it was a start! That was a great… twelve minutes? You have got to be kidding me. 

19. Never again. 

20. But, okay. Maybe again.  

21. I kind of can’t wait til my next workout.

Move with confidence after pregnancy with the Sweat app 

If you’re ready to start moving again after giving birth, we’ve got plenty of options for you in the Sweat app. Choose from our four post-pregnancy workout programs, including Post-Pregnancy with Sarah, Post-Pregnancy Core & Restore with Britany and Post-Pregnancy with Kayla.